Play 10


Hunk-O-Mania


Maureen, Brigette, Mack sit in general admission chairs at a strip club

Maureen: Yeah, I do not want to do that

Brigette: uh, no, he's like... really up on her

Mack: Wait so I don't understand, if you go with them

Brigette: You pay them. They take you to that corner.

Mack: And what? You have to pay them?

Maureen: Yeah I guess. Oh guys, look at my boyfriend

Brigette: Not your boyfriend

Maureen: I love him

Brigette: He is dry humping three girls five feet in front of him

Maureen: He's perfect

Stripper approaches

Mack: Ummm, it's her birthday, yeah her

Maureen: Yeaaaah, it's my birthday

Stripper: well how about you come with me

Maureen: Ummm, I dunno, I

Stripper: well, here, let me show you something (takes her hand along his six pack)

Maureen: (giggles) umm

Brigette: (laughs)

Stripper: what? (whispers real close) how about you come with... and bring a camera

Brigette: Uh, I don't know, right now... maybe later

Stripper: You'll get your camera later?

Brigette: Uh, yup, yeah

Stripper: Alright honeys, alright

Brigette: I can't fucking handle this

Maureen: I'm having a great time!

Brigette: oh, I'm having a great time

Maureen: HOLY SHIT, did you see what he just did to her? That was awesome holy shit... I haven't been fucked like that in a loooonngg time, maybe never

Mack: I'm just saying, i'm so happy it's your birthday

Brigette: Cuz you just keep dumping off the attention, right?

Mack: Yes. Exactly.

Brigette: It's really too much

Another Stripper approaches

Stripper: the shy one

Brigette: I don't know why you keep saying that man

Stripper: cuz last time I was over here you didn't say a word, and you haven't said a word all night.. you're the shy one

Brigette: I think you're literally the first person in the world to call me that

Stripper: oh, really, well come on, how about we, head over... what's so funny

Brigette: Oh, I just can't stop laughing... this whole thing is funny, it's fucking hilarious

Stripper: um, you're at a strip club, not a fucking comedy show... it's not hilarious

Brigette: Oh, but it is

Stripper: Are you gonna come with me over

Brigette: Over to that creepy lap dance corner full of folding chairs? Uh, no I don't think so

Stripper: Whatever

Shots stripper approaches

Stripper: Anyone want shots

Mack: YES

Brigette: haha of course you do

Mack: Uh, yeah, hello. Two shots, one for me and one for the birthday girl (hands him a 20)

Stripper: (Sees 20) Oh, a birthday girl, huh? (takes Maureen's hand, takes her to the corner)

Mack: Um, is he gonna bring me change?

Brigette: What?

Mack: I gave him a 20 for those shots

Brigette: uh, I'm pretty sure you bought that lap dance

Mack: What? I want change!

Brigette: I think that 20 paid for Maureen's current lap dance

Mack: Fuck

Maureen: Man, that guy was not good at his job

Brigette: Mack bought that when she was trying to buy shots

Maureen: haha well it was a waste

Brigette: There's your boyfriend

Maureen: where

Brigette: On stage

Maureen: He's beautiful

Brigette: He was cool, though

Maureen: I know!

Brigette: like when he was over here earlier, I totally forgot he was a stripper at all... I thought we were just talking to some cool hot guy

Maureen: That's what I'm saying

Mack: Um, you can not love a stripper

Maureen: And why not?

Mack: Oh god

Brigette: I mean, I'm not gonna say this is like a huge shock to me

Maureen: He's so hot

Maureen's boyfriend approaches, swiftly convinces her to go with him, Mack and Brigette just watch the stage for a while, Maureen returns, pays her boyfriend

Maureen: Now he was good at his job.

Brigette: Oh good

Maureen: I got his number

Mack: Of-fucking-course you did. You can not date a stripper

Maureen: He was like, yeah we have great chemistry, and we live like ten blocks apart... I'm gonna call him

Brigette: You should date a stripper

Maureen: I would

Brigette: Your love knows no boundaries

Maureen: Why would it?

The three sit and watch the show